Although I love to talk and write about beauty I also want this blog to be a reflection of who I am. In order to achieve that, there are going to be days where I post slightly deeper, more personal posts which have nothing to do with makeup or skincare. Today is one of those days.
It has been a tough few days, those ones where nothing in particular has happened but you just can’t bring yourself to be cheerful. You begin to overthink things and all of a sudden you are an emotional wreck. I started to think about the phrase ‘forgive and forget’. People around me use this all the time, I have heard it since I was a child and have even said it to others myself. It is one of those phrases that seems to roll off the tongue, if somebody has upset you, mentally you are thinking, ‘forgive and forget’, move on, be the better person. If you mention to someone that somebody else has upset you, a natural response is ‘forgive and forget’. People say it all the time. But what does it actually mean?
To forgive, must we forget? To be able to forget, do we have to forgive? Do the two go hand in hand? I for one, am struggling to grasp it. Things have happened in my life which I have, like many of you reading will have too, come to a point where I have had to stop and decide whether or not I can ‘forgive and forget’. I seem to just tell myself, ‘forgive and forget’, pick myself up and get on with things. It was only a few days ago where I began to think that there wasn’t much sense in the saying, not to me anyway, as I realised I can’t ‘forgive and forget’ and that it isn’t as easily done as it is said.
I try to be the best that I can be from day to day. We are all different and all have our own flaws and qualities, they make us who we are. I am certain that in my life I have done and said things that are wrong, I have made mistakes and humiliated myself as a result. I can’t however, think of an occasion where I have done or said something to somebody which I have deeply regretted. Obviously in the heat of the moment, when we have arguments or misunderstandings, words fly out of our mouths without much thought sometimes which can leave us feeling uncomfortable and embarrassed. I think that’s normal. I don’t have it in me to say things to another person that are hurtful though. Everybody deserves a certain amount of respect. We are all human beings and we all have feelings, nobody knows what one person is going through from one day to the next. Words can be cutting, no matter how easy they are to say or to type, they can effect people more than others.
This is why I struggle with the ‘forgive and forget’ notion. It isn’t terribly hard to say ‘OK’ to someone once they have apologised, but if something has really upset you, won’t it always be there? When I look back at certain times and occasions where someone has been hurtful towards me, I will still be holding on to those words, no matter how hard I try. Somebody might have said they were sorry to me, but it still happened and the words were still spoken. Words can hurt. Life is too short to give people a reason to write blog posts like this one. Life is too short to make people who only want the best for you, question whether or not they should forgive you and then have to try and forget.
This post may have been a random bunch of words thrown together in a rather rambling fashion, but I hope to some of you, they made sense. I guess all I am trying to say is that we should try to step back, take a look at ourselves and think about what we are going to say next before the words leave our mouths as once they have, they can never be taken back.
ALF x